Tuesday, 17 April 2012

I wish I was Katniss Everdeen

A couple of weeks ago, Rachel lent me The Hunger Games trilogy. It took me a while to get back into the habit of reading but I finally finished the first book last weekend and now I've found my pace again and I'm already halfway through book two.

No matter what people say. I am selfish. I know that. I can't be Katniss Everdeen. I don't have her strength or selflessness. I can't marry someone I don't love to ensure the well-being of my family. I thought I was weaker than a fictional character and it's okay because she's not real. But there are Katniss Everdeens in this world. My mother is one of them.

Because, I feel that my situation and worries are nothing compared to the suffering of some people I know, I don't tell my friends anything. Yesterday, I asked my cousin if I could get away with not telling Mark that I would be moving to Wollongong next year.

"Not a chance" He replied. "You're going to bump into him and how are you going to explain that?"

I can't remember the last time I talked to Mark about my life. He promised that he would protect me. But I can't depend on him for happiness. I had to save myself. I had to find an escape myself. Telling him about moving to Wollongong would involve telling him about how I had to endure everything after we broke up. I'm not sure how to do that yet.


  1. Sounds like a hard conversations, I know sometimes when I reunite with a friend after a long separation due to an argument we don't talk about what started it. We pick up as if it never happened. We already know the "whys" and "who" is at fault. It doesn't need to be said.

    It isn't the same for a relationship though I know.

  2. Tell Mark as much as you're comfortable with. You don't owe him an explanation of anything that's happened recently any more than he owes you.

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